I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
