I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i drank out of a bidet.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
