im six kinds of drunk right now
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
