it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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