You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
