The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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