He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
