remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
