I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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