Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
