your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize