Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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