I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
