Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize