when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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