Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
