So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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