What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
