Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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