Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
