i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
