My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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