i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
