direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
