maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
