Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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