I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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