You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize