Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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