Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
