Im at strip club and am horny
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
no you cant smoke seaweed
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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