So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
