Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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