her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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