Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
