Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
