I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
