well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
