You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
