Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize