Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
