FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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