i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
