i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
