Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
