I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
