but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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