So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
