I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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