I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Pants are for mortals
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize