I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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