Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
