I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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