member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
No subtext here. People are naked.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
my liver is dry heaving
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
