i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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