ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
