i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
vagina is talking i cant
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize