I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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