belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I want to stick my p in your. b.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
