my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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