there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
