What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
