My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
