He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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