she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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